But two out of three ain’t bad.Sweetheart. In any case, Sandler sums it up himself halfway through: “We’re irrelevant! We’re losers! We’re old!” Age isn’t the problem, buddy nobody is more in touch with his inner obnoxious 6-year-old than you.
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Spoiler alert: The movie ends with Sandler literally farting on Hayek, which must be punishable under some Hollywood bylaw. And let’s not even talk about why Steve Buscemi is still showing up for these things.Īfter stops along the way to watch Swardson defecating in a Kmart display toilet, the school principal eating his own belly button lint, Spade projectile vomiting, Quinn in a poop-themed soft-serve gag, and a lot of ogling of the hot school ballet teacher, it all ends up with an ’80s-themed party at Lenny’s, where the host confronts his own childhood bully (Steve Austin, who actually comes off as a nicer guy than Lenny or his friends). They’re the only “SNL” people you don’t actively pity Colin Quinn, Tim Meadows, Jon Lovitz, Ellen Cleghorne and Cheri Oteri are another story. You hope it’ll blossom into a Lonely Island video mocking the whole sexist premise, but no such luck: It’s over after a few bars of Warrant’s “Cherry Pie” - and Taran Killam licking suds off the windshield with gusto. “Thicky Thick and the Flabby Bunch,” he dubs them, in one of the film’s most creative moments.Ī brief reprieve comes when Eric and his wife (Bello) are bait-and-switched at a cheerleader car wash, and Andy Samberg and a pack of younger “SNL” guys show up in skimpy shorts. There, they encounter a group of local college frat jerks, headed by Taylor Lautner (in a sobering glimpse at the post-“Twilight” landscape), who develop a ’roided-up vendetta against the old dudes. The men head for the local swimming hole so Eric can face his fears (the movie’s big theme) by jumping off a cliff. The wives gather for an aerobics class, where they shudder at the appearance of a mannish female instructor and coo over a hunky guy until finding out that he, too, is gay. Once-promising comic Nick Swardson shows up as the school bus driver, strung out on pills because his wife dumped him: “She caught me eating a banana with my butt.” Because he’s actually gay, ew! (At least Sandler and his two credited co-writers can congratulate themselves on how “naturalistic” their work is.) It honestly seems as if Sandler and his team descended on a random suburb, halfheartedly improvising and moving on when they got bored. The movie lurches from one gross-out scene to another, flipping the bird at continuity and logic. And Eric is honing his ability to burp, sneeze and fart simultaneously, to the great envy of his mouth-breather pals.
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Higgins is dealing with a visit from a son he never knew he had, a sullen teenager (Alexander Ludwig) with a matching blond mop. Wives are so tyrannical! (Rock, almost never a good judge of a screenplay, is better than this, and spends the movie looking like he knows it.)
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Kurt is thrilled because he’s remembered his 20th anniversary while wife Deanne (Rudolph) forgot, which gives him a massive “get out of jail free card” to drink non-diet soda with dinner. (I like to imagine Schneider reading the screenplay and going, “This is beneath me - and I starred in ‘Deuce Bigalow 2!’”) Underachieving friends Kurt (Chris Rock), Eric (Kevin James) and Higgins (David Spade) are still around, though Rob Schneider’s character is absent. It immediately pees on Lenny, per the Sandler rule book. He and wife Roxanne (Hayek) are awakened by, inexplicably, a deer in their bedroom. Morning dawns in the hometown of Lenny Feder (Sandler), where he’s moved with his family after giving up his Hollywood agent job.
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Family is still the center of this sequel, though the plot is nonexistent.